Dear Assetou,
You are sitting in 2023 at the precipice of your move. You are so bold. New job. New apartment. New school. New region of the country.
You are doing something brave and beautiful. I know you worry about loneliness—every move you’ve ever made landed you back in Denver because you were homesick and lonely. This is different. You will be held here. In less than 3 years, you will know the Halal guy by heart. You will have that feeling of walking into your favorite coffee shop and being known. You will know the stories of the barbershop/tattoo parlor that used to be a punk concert hall that the now owner frequented as a boy. You will know why the vintage shop shut down and what gentrification looks like when it is quiet and pretty. You will watch it fail. You will walk these streets like an extension of your hometown and minus the plane it will be. Your world is expanding. Denver is not something you ever had to leave to be adult, to be a world traveller or achieve your dreams. You simply needed to expand. To collapse borders and know that you no longer look for home—you are it.
School’s going to be dope, just know that. You’re intuition is impressive. You knew this was the right program for you. You knew it was the right to move. You knew and you were right. There was no better place you could’ve have ended up and the fact that you barely looked is proof of your magic. The job will be a job. There will be good spells and annoying ones. But that apartment will make it worth it and everything is temporary.
Speaking of temporary—you should probably stop saying “life-partner” so often. You don’t know wtf you’re talking about. Look, I get it. It feels good to think we know what will be and the idea of that relationship ending feels devastating. But do you know you’re faking it, yet? Do you know you’re tired of censored speech and rehearsed movements? I guess not. I guess you still think this is how love is supposed to be, how you’re supposed to act. I guess you still think the impulse to be free and love without boundary is “attachment wounds.” That makes me sad. But I am happy because I know you will be free soon. You will meet me soon.
I can’t wait to see the look on your face.